Sunday, April 25, 2010

What It Means To Me

I guess you could say we were like family, although we weren't actually related, and none of us looked like each other, and I didn't catch everyone's name, and it was difficult to understand what people were saying, because what language are you speaking?

Friday, April 23, 2010

TV Show Idea

A science fiction show set in the mid-west.  There is a hat in the local hat shop that, if you put it on, takes you back in time.  But no matter what time you land in, someone always makes fun of your hat.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

A Bad Day

JOCASTA: I don't believe what bad luck has befallen the Kingdom.  That you should be my husband but also my son.  What terrible circumstances!

OEDIPUS: Yes, terrible.  Just terrible.  Um, but, I gotta say, despite everything, I'm still kind of into it.  You know what I mean?


OEDIPUS: Well, granted, the situation is just plain bad luck.  Can't deny that.  Bad luck all around.  But the truth is, I'm kind of even more into it now.  Aren't you?

JOCASTA: No.  Not at all.  It's disgusting.

OEDIPUS: Right!  Of course.

JOCASTA: I mean, just think of it!  The womb from which you sprung is the same womb that you defile.  Repeatedly.  Every night for the past twelve years.

OEDIPUS: Yes.  (pause) And this doesn't appeal to you?


OEDIPUS: Of course not.  No.  Just checking.

JOCASTA: I mean, when I think of all the sex we had.  All the time.  Over and over again.  And then it turns out I'm your mother.

OEDIPUS: I think we have to stop talking about this.  So, what else is new?

JOCASTA: Hmmm...well.  Let me think.  Oh!  You know Haemonis?

OEDIPUS: Of course!  We just had a steam.

JOCASTA: Struck by lightning.




JOCASTA: Are you still thinking about sex?

OEDIPUS: Nnn-ye-no...wait, are you?

JOCASTA: I'm leaving.

OEDIPUS: Fine.  I gotta do something about these eyes.

Friday, April 2, 2010

A Plea

You may call my rants "crazed", but take a moment and ask yourself if you are actually thinking about the words I say or are you just distracted by this pile of garbage I sleep on?