Too Much Money

I considered yesterday that maybe I have too much money. As I was taking fistfuls of bills and throwing them up into the air and then shooting at them with my gun, I thought, do I have too much money? One time, I paid the world’s wealthiest man (who I could get on the phone) to spell out my full name across the entire continent of South America, using only hundred dollar bills from my bank account. And the worst part is, you can just barely make out my name from space. That was one time when I wondered out loud, is it possible I have too much money? There was a time when I paid big bucks to ride atop of an elephant whilst feeding the elephant stacks of my money. At that point, I think, I definitely had too much money. And also a drinking problem. The way the elephant was looking at me should have made me feel ashamed. Instead, I said, “I’m not feeding you all this money just to guilt trip me.” And the elephant then gave a look like I made a good point. Still, I think I realized that I really hit bottom just yesterday, when I took fistfuls of bills and threw them up in the air and then shot them with my gun. I probably should have ended with that instead of beginning with it. Still, that elephant thing was pretty good.